What does it take to have a congenial, long-lasting marriage?

By: fongsuimy

Are the majority of couples married a long time unhappy with their relationship? That question has been bothering me for quite some time now. In my occupation as a Feng Shui consultant, many of my clients come to me with troubled relationships. While wanting to improve their relationship with their spouse, my clients often ask if there is a secret cure or recommendation that I could give them.

So, I asked a few of my married friends for their opinion. Members of the selected group are over fifty years old and are currently involved in long-term marriages. Their answer shocked me. Based on their personal experience and those of their friends, they think that 90% of married couples are, in one way or another, unhappy with their relationships.

Granted that they do not live happily ever after, as in the fairy tales, this is still quite sad – if it is indeed true.

Does a cure exist? Maybe there is.

In ancient societies such as those found in China, arranged marriages were commonplace, and the horoscope was often consulted. The natal charts of the couple in question are checked for compatibility, before they are permitted to marry each other.

Will this succeed every time? While it may increase the chances, there is still a chance it won't work. By observing couples, experts have determined that by including conditions you can improve your chances of a long, happy marriage.

While this insight is for all, it is most important for those with a background of failed marriages or relationships, to remember this.

These are a few of the conditions that apply.

Years ago, the husband was always older than his wife. This is a ritual. Do not break this. the key can be, being younger than your wife. To the ancient Chinese, the wife is considered older even if she is a day older than the husband. Although, for an improved outcome, a greater age difference is optimal.

The other option for a more successful relationship is for the husband to be much older than the wife. To the ancient Chinese, much older means at least 8 years apart. In practice, ten or fifteen years older is perfectly permitted or wanted.

It would also increase the chances if there is a big disparity in the social and economic standard between the husband and the wife. Just for example the husband is a CEO of a big corporation and has been highly educated,while the wife does not near as much education and comes from a family that is poor. Might it be reversed? In the olden days the husband as always consider to be the breadwinner. However in this modern times, where many women out-earn their husbands, why not?

In old days the next condition applied only to women then. If she cannot be a successful first wife, it does not mean that she cannot be successful being the second or third one. Therefore, a successful option for women is often to become the "other woman." I feel doubtful about being the other guy, however!

If nothing above works what do we do?

The final option is to have a spouse that is of a different race or from a different culture. For example, an Indian and a Chinese or between two Chinese brought up in different places. Examples of one China brought up and United States one can be seen.

These are wise words which our ancestors have left for us. If you are having problems forming lasting relationships, you should try it out. Nothing to lose here!